Diary of an iron man half-orc

[Moving Pictures]

start: Boughted 15 papers of go nearby, 15 feelgud poshuns, 2 feel waygud poshun.
Also boughted cloke and sanduls. No coin for weppun, will use fists.

Levul 1 (1-1): Much like-drunk staggers dis place. Many black dot make fuzzy thinkings. Punched sum shrooms, kobold died, stoled his swag. Use no go nearby papers, or poshuns. Find two feelgud drinkies, and pile of iron balls of smack animal. Found and drank poshun of what was drink of wantkill, but nobody to kill. Found paper of god make want kill, but nobody to kill. Found trap of makesick – dat not good. Found poshun of statue, dat not good. No drink no more. Find two poshuns of make bedder when sick, but not sick so no use. Will save udder in case sick. Den me get bord, go downstairs.

Levul 2 (2-4): More punchy mushrooms. Find pile of stones. Fiind fud. Killed mad dog, skwish couple many-legged wriggly things, sum green wurms go splat, make squish in bare hands. Want weppun. Squishy worms take to levul 5, and 63 smakme points. Found more traps of makesick.
Kill small blue man. Find magic paper, but remember dad say read only when go down. Found whip on ground, dat make me happy: now have weppun. Right after, use whip to snappy-kill big snake, then find magic cloke. Not big magic, little magic, but better cloke, so i wears it.
Sum guy sneak up, swipe munny, but since on misshun down, either die or kill Morgoth, who care. Anyway, i find guy later, kill quick. He also have dagger, with little magic. Dat i now uses. Den i gets bord, looks for stairs. Just before stairs, find mouses, and dem I kill. Now at levul 6 with 79 smakme points. Den me read magic papers, cuz dad tells story of cuzzin who read magic papers soon he finds dem, and go poof, leaving big truzzurs behind. Not do that. One magic paper make see unseen, but dere no unseen to see, so paper wasted. Other magic paper make go suck waydown. Not gunna read that again.

Level 7 (2-3): Right quick kill snake garding sling. Kill snake, take sling. Touch sling, feel big killem power magics. Dis good. Now want armur. Not smart go kill Morgoth until armur. Wandur around. Find poshun of make eyes tingly. Want test sling soon, kill sumfing.
Den me find room with poshuns. One make me blind: dat scary, not gunna drink dat again. Drink poshun of laugh at fire. Waz two, so udder one, keep. Third poshun is drink of keep warm when cold. Dat i remember, too. But dis not bar, get bord of drinking, want go kill things. Dark elf, he first to die, squish fast, too. Snagas line up in hall for testing sling, and dey goes pop-pop-pop. Sling make big smack (52, 52, 50), dead each, one rock, make go levul 8, 100 smakme points. Blunder into trap of makesick, but remember poshun of makebetter, and drink.
Traps suck. Nudder trap splash burnwater, go fizzlepop on gluvs. Gluvs no good, so I drop dem. Udder things die. Skelyton, floatie eyeball, not member what else. Do member trap of make wobbly walk. Wish dere were way to trap of burnwater, wobbly walk. Dem no fun. Last ting, find armur. Not metul armur, but it OK, and a bit magic tingly, so gud find. Den i gets bord, want go downstairs. I leave at levul 9 with 116 smakme points.

Level 8 (3-1): right quick find poshun. Why peeple leave poshuns all over? Lots of cobwebs here. Think will not find much tressur, but maybe find things to kill.
Me soon find shifty guy. Dis sling, it good. One iron ball, he dead. Pilfur poshun of feel realgud. Now got six of dem, which probly good. Tings i kill include flappy bird with peeple face, bug with bad breth.
Hooboy, dem hill orcs, dey is tuff. Found tree of dem and they smak me up pretty gud, until me use hed and use sling. Dat sling is some good, it kills all before dey gets close, den i kill their pet puppy. Will remember dat. Bonking puppy with stone make me go levul 11, with 128 smakme points. Hill orcs make me want more armur, like sheeld.
Just when think boring, guy in purple – wormtung, he ambush. Smaks me up gud, so use magic paper of go nearby. Dat my first of the go nearby papers, but still have 19. Magic land me in big bright room. Drink feel waygud poshun which brings me from 68 to 107 smakme points. Waiting for wormtung, i read the god-make-kill paper. Right after, wurmtung show, me smak with ball, he use magic to make me slow. I smack with ball, he make spear of cold, which hurt bigly. Now at 73 smakme points. He hurt too, so me think, feelgud poshun or fire ball? No tak chances. Drink feelwaygud, back up to 112 smakmes. He make poison cloud, me smack with ball. Then he look better. So I drink nudder feelwaygood. He make one more cloud of makesick, then die. Now at levul 12 with 135 smakmes, but i first go corner feel badsick for some time, then rest to. Wurmtung left big pokey stick with magics, but dagger move kwiker and probly better for killing. Brawl with wurmtung cost me one go nearby paper and three feelwaygud poshuns. I wandur, but all ded, so i get bord and find stairs. Dere, I read paper of map in hed, den read paper of know rune. Not sure if know rune paper much good, as I was learned runes as a kid. Leave with 112 killthing points to go to levul 13.

Level 9 ( 4-2 ): dis place greet me with ant that go squish and (+6.+3) poncy rapyer. Rapyer probly better for poky, so now dat my main weppun.
I rite dis as my last will, cuz i gonna die. Just had mess with many everyfings. Mad panik. Dark elvs , sudo dragons, kobolds. Day gang up on me some bad, zap me with makeblinds and poison. Was fiting blind, drinking poshuns like dey was sodawater. All the feelwaygud poshuns gone, go nearby papers saved life, but used ... not sure. Four? Five. I lived gud, killed many, died well. At 67 smakme points. Can’t take nudder mugging. All I gots left is two feelgud potions and 16 gonearby papers, but nowhere nearby to go nearby to, so dem papers no good.
So plan rest, and either get bettur, or get mugged and die. Wil die here, I shur of it.

[Grotug]

I feel like I'm reading The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn except taking place in a dungeon instead of on a river. Any chance you could take screenshots of the tricky parts to your game? Would be fun to see at times. Not sure why your ?phase doors won't work?

[geoff_tewierik]

Originally Posted by Grotug

I feel like I'm reading The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn except taking place in a dungeon instead of on a river. Any chance you could take screenshots of the tricky parts to your game? Would be fun to see at times. Not sure why your ?phase doors won't work?

Guessing it's a labyrinth level?

[Moving Pictures]

Originally Posted by Grotug

I feel like I'm reading The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn except taking place in a dungeon instead of on a river. Any chance you could take screenshots of the tricky parts to your game? Would be fun to see at times. Not sure why your ?phase doors won't work?

Hallway far removed from anywhere within PD range, essentially. so PDs were only blipping either at one and of the mugging or the other, or even worse, into a room of mugees.

And I figure poor Har-al-Grisht, at 7 Int, ain't the bested edjukkated. If the bugger lives, I have plans for how to write, but that will (maybe)) come later.

[Moving Pictures]

Diary of an iron man half-orc, pt 2

Dey doesn’t come. Dunno what kinda mirakal that is. I rest to full smakme points. So now, I wanna see what i killed, and go back to site of battul. Sum kobolds mug me, along with sudo dragon. Fite got dicey, but even like-drunk wobbly fiting, i am too much for dem, and they all die. Now levul 14 with 151 smakme points. After rest, look at trezur from both battuls, and it lots. Find magic cap and ring of can’t-burn-or-freeze. Find 3 poshuns of feelgud, 5 poshuns of feel waygud. Find staff of makebetter, for stop blind and fix like-drunk wobblies. Also find staff dat make pretty light, not sure what dat for. Also find 3 magic papers, but not gunna read rite now in case it poof me away from trezzur. Heard of udder cuzzin who did that, dum fool. Also find 3 wand, one which make stinkgas, other not sure, both make pretty light. Soon find blue goo, one pretty light wand make go faster, so dat droppped. Last wand make same light but look different, so keep.
After dat, pretty boring. Some Brodda guy eats four chunks of iron, and die.
Get into fite with kobold, use pretty light wand, but it not make pretty light. Instead, it make earth shake, bring down roof. Not sure why dat happen. I kill kobold old-fashun way. Then, next, I wander into a room of peeple, some human, some snagas. I use the pretty light wand again, and it turn a pileodin into a pile o bones, so i figure it work rite again. There some big guy there, Langdalf or some such. I point the wand at him, and instead,is big blast of sparks and stuff all over. Bunch of things die. Now that is wizzerd work. The sling mops up the rest, and nonee touches me. The sling, I likes. Wand, though, i dunno. Kinda wonder what it do next. Maybe what I call it, wand of wonder. Then i get bord, and go find stairs. At top, read mystery magic papers. One kind – i now gots like, 12, make me feel like I ate. Papers lite, so I drop my grub. Next magic paper make dark poof. No use again. I now levul 16, with 177 smakme points. The floor, it dun good.

Level 10 (2-1): I got bord fast. Not much to kill. Some spook pushers chase after me, rapyer send them to their god. Swiped waygood poshuns, now gots 13. Ran into a pack of small blue peepple. They die quick egsept for one who was tuff, but he die too. He had a sling as gud as mine, same magic feelies. Not sure if it better. Will keep. Way bord, and sick of burnyou and make-drunk traps, I find stairs. Read a mystry magic paper, make pretty light but nothing else. Same levul as start – that not happen befor. Boring.

Level 11 (4-1): Floor start out good, with hill orcs in ones and twos. Easy kills. One gots poshun of feel waygood. Got 14 now. Find a goaway trap, then in diffrent room with boring sling and magic paper. Drop poshuns of no burn and poshuns of no freeze, since ring do same. Take paper. Also find amlet that make see better in dark. Mite be useful. Find trap of makeweak, trap drop stone on head, trap of sickgas. Find trap of burn. Tired of traps. Want kill maker of traps. Find blob that spit burnjuice instead, dum rat, and a tick. Poisoned sick, bad. Use staff of makebetter to save life. Now at levul 18, with 179 smakme points. Wandur around, kill some peeple, den get bord and find stairs. Magic paper reading time. One makes me see trezzur, but none to see, so wasted. Next one is big god-kill thing, but nothing to kill, so go down stairs. Hope next level good. Want more trezzur. Want sheeld, better weppun.

Level 12 (3-2): Dum elf try mugging. Try other mystery wand, it do nothing. Kill elf old-fasshun way. find glowing shroom. Must be magic so I eat. It magic: makeweak magic. Why everything makeweak, make sick? Then mugged by spook i can’t see. Magic paper of see unseen work, but after one bonk of spook, it stop working. Useless. Spook makeweak. Always with the makeweak, make sick. Drink poshun of see much, ghost go away after one bonk. Then green blob spit burnjuice, put hole in armur, burn gluvs. Don’t need poshun for wantkill now.
Find room of louses, and they chase, but i close door. Hah. Dum louses. Then i find poshun of stop poison. Keep. Will use, for shur, given luck. Next room, find boring shroom. Think luck must turn, so eat. Shroom make ghost frite look like picnic with pretty gurl. Bad frite. Not gonna eat that again, or will need clean pants. I find poshun, drink. It make me go way fast. Enjoy quick killing spiders when poof, dum elf, he make sickgas from corner, so he die. Wandur around, find amlet with bigtime searchy-findy rune. Think maybe help find traps, so put on. Keep see-inna-dark amlet, tho. Find room of snagas, test out new staff i can’t remember finding. It staff of feelgud. Mystery wand, finally figure out what it do: it make snaga like statue. Then use wand of wonder, it make big fireboom, killed em all. But then get bord, find stairs. Now levul 18 with 190 smakme points.

Level 13 (3-2): Welcomed by kobold, couple spookpushers and horsey-wing thing. All die. See orange jelly, bonk it with stones. It hide ring with bigtime findy-searchy rune, so i put it on. Then mugged by buncha fleas. Scores of them, biting. I run into arms of not-so-friendly orcs. Use paper of gonearby, but not much help. Dump three blasts of stinkgas wand, drink three feelwaygud poshuns, in fiting retreat. Orcs all die. Close door to keep fleas out, but they smarter than louses, and take down door. I run.
But mirakal: now seeing traps, so not walking into makeweak, rockbonk. So much better. Find better gluvs, put on. Then mugged by ghost, which make clumsy, make scared. Drink poshun of hero, drink poshun of see unseen, smack ghost. Find another wand. Drop wand of wonder, since it wierd. Now have three wands, no clue what any do. Then bord, so find stairs. Now at levul 19, with 198 smakme points.

Level 14 (3-2): Maybe this new tradishun. Welcomed by bird with peepul face. It die. I find trapdoor, but it block only way by. Dunno why, but think maybe one of the three wands make trap go poof. Try all three, nope, but one does blow nearby door off hinges. What wand do that half-orc with boots not do? So toss wand, disable trap by hand. Liking the amlet-ring searchy-findy setup. I find dart makeweak trap take it apart, pit trap which I fix. Feeling good about traps. Bad thought. Find rune garding staff. Figure staff must be gud so try to break rune. Not gud. Poof, mugged by hydra, troll, wizurd, snaga. They mug me pretty gud, so use paper of gonearby, which sets me in corridor where sling can make many bonks. Use unknown wand, find out it slow troll, but that last charge, so toss. Go back see staff, it make map-in-head. Not worth two wayfeelgud potions and magic gonearby paper. Now, amlet of resist burnjuice, which i find, that diffrent. Will see if trap findy work with just ring of trapfindy. Need to resist burnjuice. Armur have many burnjuice holes in it, need new armur.
Later, find little blue peeple. Some guy says he king of blue peeple. Drop wand of stinkgas, make him mad. He make me blind. Enuff of the makeblind. Expect like-drunk wobbly next. I say i am Har-a-Grisht, half-orc prince of makeblind like-drunk wobbly fite, and then drop wand of sickgas where king bolder should be. Much screaming. Now feel poisoned. Not sure how that happen. Drink poshun of feelwaygood, which make me see. Little king, he in front, so use sling. Use sling to land pebbul of smak animal in royal jewls (85), so maybe pebble think little man less peeple than I do. He mangled, he blink. Not come back, either. Want finish. Not good leave hurt. That wrong. I wandur, give up on blue king, but find elf and shrieky shroom. Had forgot blue king when he blink and mug, then blink. Coward. I find him soon in corner of room. He make mumbles, i make with stones. Stones win. He drop hammer of smak unded. Hefty +3,+13 smakem, too. Better than rapyer against skelytons, so keep as weppun for skelytons. Drop potion of mad kill to make room.
Mugged by sudodragon, who makeblind then likedrunk. Fools. Almost as good blind wobbly fite now as reglar fiting. Spent more time wobbly fite than at brother’s wedding. Sudo dragon have friend, but eyes clear and slingbonk kill both. They drop shortbow of do squat, so ignore.
Then bord, so find stairs. Now at levul 20, with 210 smakme points.

[Adam]

Originally Posted by Moving Pictures

...
Drop poshuns of no burn and poshuns of no freeze, since ring do same
...

I'm not sure if you know it, though seperately the ring or the potion makes you suffer 1/3 of the original fire damage but if you use both the ring and the potion, you get only 1/9 of the damage. Permanent and temporary resist do stack.

[Moving Pictures]

Originally Posted by Adam

I'm not sure if you know it, though seperately the ring or the potion makes you suffer 1/3 of the original fire damage but if you use both the ring and the potion, you get only 1/9 of the damage. Permanent and temporary resist do stack.

Yeah, I knew that. At the moment, it's a matter of juggling inventory. Few chances at this moment of needing to stack both (dragons and other nasty breathers will come in time, but by then, hopefully something has come along that will replace the ring to give rFire and rCold. Make sense? Until then, the 1/3 is still there, and since the ring covers two, without taking up an inventory slot (while the potions took two) dumping the potions allows for more slots for other inventory.

Since the teleport level (along with destruction and a few others) are still out there, I'm not reading any scrolls until prepared to leave the level. So that means packing around scrolls that might be entirely useless, as part of the discovery process... so the inventory slots are kinda needed.

[Pete Mack]

For warriors especially, it's worth keeping in mind that acid damage is cut in 1/6, if you have non-zero AC armor in all slots and acid resistance. That means acid is a much less potent breath attack than the other elements, unless you have a source of temporary resistance. (It's lower than even poison, as a monster needs 6*800HP to reach full damage with acid, compared with 3*800 for poison.)

Yeah, it has nasty side effects, but for big fights, this is a worth-while trade.

[Moving Pictures]

Level 15 (4-2): No welcum. In hall so start wandur. Bug spit burnjuice, but amlet keep from more armur holes. Blunder into red rune that make poof. One guy, he fite unfair, make poof with animuls. All die. Kill some pussycats, kill some puppies and bugs. Runing low on balls. If not find more balls and stones, may want to use sling less. That bad, since sling way better than rapyer. Bord, find stairs, read one new magic paper. It try make rapyer better, but not work. Rapyer is bunk weppun.
So. Levul 15. That milestone. Teecher would put 15 over the 100 i gots to go, and come up with a quarter. That sound rite. So at quarter mark, what have?
- a rapyer (+6,+3). Need better.
- studded armur (12,-4). Burnjuiced, need better.
- Sling of might (x3) (+9,+15.)
- no sheeld. Cap of [2,-1] burnjuiced, need better, gluves of [3,+5]. Need boots.
- ring of not hot or cold. Amlet of resist burnjuice. Had amlet of resist sparks, but drop. More need resist stinkgas.
- ring of trapfindy (+4)
14 feelgud poshuns, 17 feel waygud potions. Think feelguds gotta be used, since they don’t do much for me now. Other poshuns: stop sick/gas; one killbetter, two resist sick/gas, two see unseen.
Papers: 17 gonearby; 4 make map in head; 4 of those useless see-unseen; 17 like-eating-food; 8 god-bless-go-kill.
One rod of find trezzur, wand of stinkgas (4 poofs left); wand of make-like-statue (can make six more statues); wand of stun (two left). Staff of map in head(7), staff of fix sick (3 uses left); two staffs of feelgood. Think use, like poshuns.
Amlet of trapfindy (+5)
War hammer of smak undead (+3,+13)
35 stones/pebbles/balls for sling.
Sling of power (x2) (+10,+24). Think, then drop this sling. Both about same, so no loss.
Need: something to stop makesick. Something to stop like-drunk wobbles. Nice to be not blind. Armur shot. Don’t think kill morgoth with bendy-stick rapyer.

Level 16 (1- 2): Use rod of trezzur and staff of map in head. In buncha caves. Will go hunt trezzur, not look to kill things, see what happens. First trezzur is wizard book. No use, since not eating real fud. Got bad feeling this waste of level. Black bug spits burnjuice, hurts gluvs, puts more holes in armur. Found two wands, no clue what they do. Killed bugs, bat, ant, snake, dum elf, and some invisible thing that stopped hitting me so I probly killed it, too. I got bord, fast, and found stairs. Now at Levul 21, with 212 smakme points.

Level 17 (4-1): Land in house of trolls, ogres, a green dragon of makesick gas. Use sling since rapyer no good. 29 rocks/balls left when battul done. Use some feelgud potions and a pair of gonearby papers. Find ok, small magic cloke in room of dead orcs, though orcs not dead when I first found them. Odd demon mug me. Make blind, then attack. Use staff of makebetter to see, one blow kills it. It leaves shield with runes against fire, sparks, cold and burnjuice, but also rune of curse. Make no sense it resist sparks, but not resist sparks. Magic hard. Will use shield but take off around blue bugs.
Find big orc, and he fight gud. Then find other orcs, and they fight not so good. Why orcs consort with dum elf? Elf make blind. Maybe they try something else. Tired of blind fite. But they drop three poshuns and, i try, and they make me better than the feelwaygud poshuns. Gonna name muchbetter poshuns. Now levul 22 with 220 smakme points. Blunder into alarm, and buncha peeple come at me. I smak a bunch, then read a getaway scroll – that’s a good name – which lands me next to two goaway traps. Heh. So i smak a few more with the sling, then step into the goaway trap, land somewhere else i been before. Smart. Now, if other magic did that, way useful. Next time i see a wizurd i don’t kill, will ask for that. Find burnjuice trap. Armur now more holes than lethur. So bad i go back to find robe. Robe do just as gud, that how bad armur is. Kids at school, the human ones, would laugh, say “look, Har-a-grisht going to fight Morgoth in bathrobe.” Must get real armur.
I bord and shamed. Go find stairs, but first read new magic papers. One make wimpy rapyer a bit better. The next one – huh you get an idea and it gets stoled fast. Paper make me go somewhere else i already been. Last one make traps. Not read that again. Now got to go find stairs once more. Dam magic.

Level 18 (5-2): Quickly find orcs and ogres, then use up some of the feelgud poshuns. Then find chest, which has sanduls inside that gots strong magic and a stealth rune. Finally, don’t got to walk barefoot through kobold dung, jelly entrails and orc guts. Puppies of darkness breathe, die. Now at levul 23 with 239 smakme points. Golfdingle eats sling balls, leaves a wicker sheild, which i take as backup. Kill more orcs, and find mound of stones for sling, so now able to use regularly. Not move far before kill Grishnakt and bunch of half-orcs. Like family party, cept they not wake up in morning.
Burnjuice trap i not see burn holes in robe. They should make armur that not get hurt by burnjuice. After killing many, i get bord quick, and go find stairs.

Level 19 (3 -1): Family party down here, too. Buncha hill orcs die. Find poshuns of makefast, dump single waygud to make room. Not much for trezzur, tho. Did find shield that not cursed, so use that. Find rod that make map in head, so keep. Kill a buncha gnomes. Now at levul 24, 256 smakmes. Not much trezzur, but dead gnomes had a lantern. Replace mine, since mine was lower on oil. They should make magic lamp that never go out, not need oil. I get bord, go find stairs. Was just about to go down, when ambushed by orcs. They die.

Level 20 (3-1): Something bad make mind not work. Think might be poshun take mind. Must have killed bunch of trolls first, lots of bodies with rapier holes in them. Don’t remember. Have staff, don’t remember how i got it. Also no longer have cursed sheild. No memory why. Magic bad.

Level 21 (5-4): Wandured round new place, killed some trolls. Then tried to take apart red rune blocking path, buncha folks poofed in. Killed a big kitty, but then big orc beat the tar outta me, so used paper of run away like child. Rested, but guy came at me, but this time at distance. Softened him up with some iron balls, then poked him. What’s he got? Magic lantern that needs no oil. I gonna think out my ideas more often. Dunno who Auglion is, but his lamp is pretty. Bump off some dark hounds, then end up to-to-toe with big, mean orc. This one, he tuff, must be from my side of the family. Use paper to escape, mugged by dark elves. Use paper to escape again, land in nearby room. Drink poshuns to get better. Find better cloke, find armur. Now we’re talking.
Hunt down elfs, but this time, prepare using poshun of not makesick, and paper of god-go-kill. Hard batul, use some poshuns. Then go after Lugdush. After poshuns of gofast, waygud and makebetter, he dead and i gots his ‘ring of Ulebor.’ All excited until i looks at it. It only got a nasty rune of make others mad so i leave it.
I run away, patch wounds, rest, then go back to big orc whose name i almost forget. Uglak. Nasty battle, but he got friends, including some bat that breathes nasty. It touch and go, but i use makefast poshun, whack of wayguds and a makebetter, a staff of slow’em, and knock him off. He’s got niiiiiice armur, too. Leather armur of Naron. Runes againt burnwater, sparks, sickgas (yes!), light, shards, and a no-blind rune. If it had no wobbly-fite rune, would say it made for me. Also have major healing magics. I put on, try heal. It make all better. Full smakme points. New friend. No time, tho, must smak whirling water demon thing.
Hard to describe battul then. Pitched. Lots of potions, lots of nasties. I leave, rest up, go back in a couple times. Find out armur heal only work half time, so not so great mid-batul. Then go clean out place where critters lived. Nice haul. Crossbow, will replace sling for a bit, since low on stones. Also find ring of hurt-them.
Hope this make sense. Take off ring of findy-trap. Take off amlet of resist burnjuice. Armur helps resist burnjuice, so ditch amlet of resist burnjuice. Put on amlet of findy-trap, which better than ring of findy-trap. Put on ring of hurt-them. Will keep ring of findy-trap, in case find good amlet.
They should make ring that both help hittem and help hurtem. Also, who Ulebor, and why he have ring that only make critters mad, do nothign else? Heh. If make ring Har-a-Grisht, would makesick, makeweak and make wobbly fite. Not in hurry to leave, so make campfire out of spook-pusher books, eat a slime mold first, then go find stairs. Levul 25, smakme points 267.

[Pete Mack]

Could you post a character dump? Wonderful AAR!