January 22, 2014, 21:45
|
#1 |
|
Adept
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 164
 |
New funnies
It's about time to make some additions to the Funnies, don't you think so?
 Here are some suggestions:
OT: Experienced Stone Soup players should also take a look at the Funny suggestions for Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup
Last edited by caruso; January 24, 2014 at 21:11. |
|
|
|
January 23, 2014, 05:42
|
#2 |
|
Knight
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Cincinnati, OH, USA
Age: 40
Posts: 919
    |
TIL V has an "emote" command...
__________________
You read the scroll labeled NOBIMUS UPSCOTI... You are surrounded by a stasis field! The tengu tries to teleport, but fails! |
|
|
|
|
April 12, 2015, 15:26
|
#3 |
|
Adept
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 164
|
Last edited by caruso; April 14, 2015 at 18:46. |
|
|
|
|
April 12, 2015, 17:32
|
#5 | |
|
Knight
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: England
Posts: 958
|
Quote:
|
|
|
|
|
|
December 22, 2018, 17:55
|
#7 |
|
Adept
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 164
|
Last edited by caruso; December 22, 2018 at 18:05. |
|
|
|
|
December 22, 2018, 19:05
|
#8 |
|
Prophet
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 6,856
Donated: $40
|
Here are my two such contributions:
You hit the orange orc. Jamband announcement. But this doesn't hold a candle to Rocketband, which is an actual variant released on April 1st:l, 2016. http://angband.oook.cz/forum/showthr...ght=Rocketband |
|
|
|
|
December 23, 2018, 14:31
|
#9 |
|
Veteran
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Pisa / DL0
Posts: 1,027
|
@Pete Mack: the Jamband link doesn't work
__________________
-- Dive fast, die young, leave a high-CHA corpse. |
|
|
|
|
December 23, 2018, 22:48
|
#10 |
|
Knight
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 885
|
Some highlights from the angband.live chat... (lightly edited with spelling fixes and removal of unrelated messages)
-- Holy_Rage: I must stop playing FA-related games! Holy_Rage: I just had a client on the phone, Mr. Cristobal Holy_Rage: and I called him Mr. Orcobal! Holy_Rage: *facepalm* Quirk: As long as you didn't try to kill him I think friendly relations can be restored -- bostock: Somehow mistook the Cloning Pits for my house Gorbad: I was wondering about that yes bostock: walked out of there before you could say < Y Gorbad: first I thought 'you're going to die' bostock: Hope I'm not missing out on too much by failing the quest Gorbad: well... the good news is... you will encounter all those uniques anyway rodent: you survived the Cloning Pits when Gwarl did not, that gives you bragging rights bostock: To have been a fly on the wall in that scene bostock: Blue Mage goes back to town, nips a flask of cognac from a townsperson bostock: chugs it down bostock: blunders into the Cloning Pits bostock: "Hey, THIS isn't my house!" bostock: checks out -- Gwarl: don't yell at me Gwarl: I'm going to spend some time restructuring my dev environment Gwarl: (cleaning my room) -- Gwarl: wow Gwarl: you have fifteen cats! Gwarl: how did this come to be? MITZE: We don't fix our cats until it's too late MITZE: also we attract strays MITZE: or are given them Gwarl: yeah but Gwarl: most people draw a line at some point Gwarl: clearly you don't Gwarl: that's admirable -- LogicalImp: where are you hunting Gwarl? kh: Generally I hunt Gwarl in the angband.live chat LogicalImp: rofl MITZE: He is quite commonly found there kh: he seems to have a fairly high spawn rate there yes MITZE: except when something needs fixed kh: yes then he moons you and teleports away of course -- Holy_Rage: Fundin, son of Financin, famous Dwarven banker. You are the pride of your family. You have mortgaged half of the starting town's shops. You have a large nose, dark hair and a large moneypouch. -- Holy_Rage: I am sure your Sergeant will find the Halls of Mandos awaiting for him with honour and reprieve from his ordeal. LogicalImp: Aye, I'm sure he will. I know he was a very avid WoW player, but we all end up there some day. Holy_Rage: Imagine if we meet all the @s we have sent there... Holy_Rage: Awaiting to mob us! LogicalImp: If we did I would feel sorry for Hugo -- Holy_Rage: Feeling solid Holy_Rage: Though in honour of my -very- patient mentor, rodent, i won't battle Morgoth if he is not around. Provided that I reach that stage. kh: very hard to battle Morgoth if he is not around -- kh: to be fair there are a lot of good ways to enjoy pain kh: like playing angband, or spicy food, or practicing bdsm, or raising kids -- Holy_Rage: 5th death on DL1 in a row Holy_Rage: wow. Holy_Rage: playing real bad I think rodent: it sometimes happens that when you start dying you keep dying wobbly: short of medical aid that is usually true -- roushguy: ... wow roushguy: I have no idea what *band to play. Gwarl: what are you into LogicalImp: That's the joy of it! Play them all! Gwarl: (nobody has played them all. possibly clouded has) roushguy: I don't even know. Gwarl: there are different dimensions. tightly focused, or large and expansive? Gwarl: consistent lore, or kitchen sink? roushguy: uh rodent: (you will answer five or six questions, and at the end Gwarl will recommend that you play Oangband, even though no one else plays it) -- Gwarl: I'm fighting the urge to depressionpost everywhere. I could probably get away with it as captain of this ship but this is such a nice place. I don't want to ruin it LogicalImp: Gwarl, we are all here for you! Gwarl: yes and I want to keep it that way lol -- Quirk: who sets up their anvil next to the Brambles of Confusion? Quirk: even orcs aren't that dumb Flyingpants: well i mean, how do you kill them BostocksAlt: 28 terrible forge placements BostocksAlt: #18 will make you facepalm! -- Gwarl: yeah I don't know how to unzip the split archive rodent: you need to join the two "zips" into one zip and unzip the big zip BostocksAlt: we're nerds, we don't know anything about unzipping -- Gwarl: now I'm confused, fighting the variant maintainer, who is also confused, and there are software bugs everywhere -- kh: okay why did the ironman angband player forget how his game went kh: because he couldn't recall -- Fnord: Duelists can't dual wield? Gwarl: well Gwarl: they aren't dualists BostocksAlt: The dualist hits you! You feel the conflict between the material and the spiritual -- BostocksAlt: hmm, tough decision, potionmasters are more fun but scrollmasters are weirder -- bostock: Octodad the Orc has managed to generate so much loot I have to leave and unload bostock: A surprising but effective strategy for lengthening his lifespan -- Gwarl: I honestly don't understand why anyone would defend java Gwarl: you must have stockholm syndrome -- bostock: You have a Light Blue Mushroom (b). You feel very naive. How impatient! You have no more Mushrooms of Naivety in your pack. Orcobal the Mighty says, 'Has your folly led to this?' -- Your Time hound breathes Time at Saruman of Many Colours. Saruman of Many Colours seems weakened. Saruman of Many Colours says, 'Time? What time do you think we have?' -- BostocksAlt: Ghatanothoa dies. You just completed your quest! A magical staircase appears...-more- BostocksAlt: cl27, dl37 Fnord: You're pretty nuts, bostock. Did I ever mention that? BostocksAlt: Wow! You feel very self-confident! Welcome to level 28. The voice of Chardros booms out: 'My pets, destroy the arrogant mortal!' -- BostocksUgar: Jack of Shadows just stole my rod of illumination BostocksUgar: this should be canon -- wobbly is now watching wobbly: what does this mace do, hmm. let me just jump in a pool of lava -- bostock: time to do debby Fnord: I hate loot destroying things though bostock: i am a loot destroying thing Fnord: No you're not: I don't hate you. Qed. bostock: this lady has bad breath -- BostocksAlt: for godknowswhat reason BostocksAlt: numenor has a tendency to just randomly spawn clone-of-locke pits BostocksAlt: As Tolkien wrote in The Secret Unpublished Silmarillion: BostocksAlt: "Numenor is full of anime characters" -- Fnord: What's your goal with rodentband? rodent: I want to upturn world order and bring about the fall of mankind and the robot takeover BostocksAlt: sounds reasonable -- Nemo: crash :-( rodent: crashed under the weight of all the bostocks Nemo: It would be nice if someone could restore my file. If not I'll redo the level Nemo: @rodent has bostock been cloning himself rodent: yes rodent: not sure how I feel about bostock clones taking over the world, it's better than rule by normal humans I suppose BostocksUgar: I promise to be nice to the normies BostocksUgar: and to only generate Clone of Bostock pits in Numenor -- kobold: luring people into antisummoning corridors is hard when you're stealthier than god BostocksAlt: that's pretty stealthy BostocksAlt: never seen the guy -- BostocksAlt: You are shocked. Shocked, I tell you! -- BostocksUgar: The Yeek President is a thief BostocksUgar: I never knew vertigoalt: he probably casts Trump magic too :P vertigoalt: like that Plausible Deniability spell, or Invoke Alternative Facts -- Gwarl: losing that pet was like 1/4 as feelbad as losing a character rodent: so if you lose another 3 pets like that, you'll get all the feelbad of losing a character without having to actually lose a character BostocksAlt: "new plan for gwarl" -- bostock: where are you? rodent: war on drujs bostock: just say no to drujs bostock: the silly canadians are legalizing drujs bostock: but they'll regret it Gwarl: when they get double-whirlpooled -- [20:04] bostock: You have The Pair of Dragon Wings 'Terminater' [4,+20] (+2) {St;Li;RfLv[ET} (t). [21:42] bostock: You have The Set of Dragon Gloves 'Hithlomir' [4,+20] (+2) {StCn;AcPoCa;Lv[MT(Cn} (v). [23:02] bostock: The Pair of Dragon Wings of Arvedui [4,+20] {NtSoDi;LvWr[T} [...] [01:50] bostock: Dragon Quest (Angwil) (Level 42): Here's a little something extra for you. You have a Pair of Dragon Wings [4,+10] {ElPoNtNx;Lv} (q). [01:50] bostock: But they're not complete [01:50] Gwarl: those certainly are [01:50] Gwarl: dragon wings [01:50] bostock: still lacking that [T [01:50] Gwarl: yes [01:50] Gwarl: go put it on them [01:52] bostock: this [01:52] bostock: i [01:52] bostock: i should play the lottery [01:52] bostock: You have The Pair of Dragon Wings of Caspanion [4,+19] {ElPoNtNx;Lv[ET} [01:53] Gwarl: ahahahaha [01:53] Gwarl: I'm sorry [01:53] Gwarl: it shouldn't be funny [01:53] Gwarl: lol yes it should [...] [04:05] bostock: You drop The Wizardstaff of the Rohirrim (1d2) (+14,+5) {Dm[T/*U}. [...] [17:40] bostock: ok one more try [17:45] bostock: You have The Pair of Dragon Wings 'Red Belet' [4,+16] (+4) {Dx;AcElNt;Lv[T A:Lightning Strike} (u). -- kobold: bring compos into the modern era by adding a quest where you kill the ghost of steve jobs bostock: if you bring your roguelike into the modern era do you get a free tech? bostock: or is that only in Roguelikemaintainer IV? rodent: only if no one else's roguelike has done it first bostock: You have completed The Speed System! bostock: *dramatic music plays* bostock: *still image appears because creating a video is too much work* -- kobold: gwarl you should do the alpha go-getter move and remove pcb from the list Nivim: Gwarl should do the alpha-go getter move and have a chess-based variant. -- Fnord: Not blaming the US, the entire world is like that (and in some places far worse)! Fnord: And not "blaming" per se. Just calling them insane. -- bostock: clubber demons should discochant -- bostock: Also why am I suddenly a brute MITZE: because virtues bostock: You behold the eldritch visage of virtues! bostock: You are confused! -- wobbly: If you ever get tired of the virtue system. You can reuse it as a sarcastic talking sword -- bostock: Man Hera is really not interested in sitting around and getting killed rodent: what an unsporting attitude bostock: terrible mom bostock: Achievement unlocked: matricide bostock: all in a day's work on Mt. Olympus -- Gwarl: but yeah there are other spells, mana storm is not even the penultimate spell never mind ultimate one Gwarl: plus you also get polymorph self Gwarl: if you're into that sort of thing bostock: "He had a hot body and all, but he was into... you know... [whispers] *polymorph self*" -- Gwarl: so mitze. in the timed you gained two levels I had two death paladins past level 30 and killed both MITZE: Yeah sounds right MITZE: The important bit though Gwarl: I will probably lap you a third time before long MITZE: is that I'm still alive, whereas you have died twice Gwarl: yes but you're missing some vital information Gwarl: this character Gwarl: is the one MITZE: uh huh MITZE: considering your track record Gwarl: I'll kill the J and never have to prove myself again MITZE: forgive me for remaining MITZE: unconvinced Gwarl: how dare you question the veracity of the one true run Fnord: Are you calling the character J? -- MITZE: our resident fatcat decided he wanted in my lap bostock: MITZE hopes to be the living embodiment of the tortoise from The Tortoise and the Hare bostock: meanwhile, however, even a cat is lapping him -- bostock: Olog partyyy Gwarl: don't have olog parties Gwarl: there are rocks bostock: are there rolls? [...] bostock: these ologs are kinda led zeppelin bostock: they are bostock: dazed and confused -- Hugo: Well...probably not Polearmaster anymore...That Kell 77's opportunity...but she's dead already...I'm with Kell 85 now...so I'll probably go with Swordmastery to go along with the maxxed Marital Arts this time around [...] Gwarl: I see from the message history that Hugo has maxed marital arts skills Gwarl: he's not getting screwed in a divorce -- konijn_: Hmmm, how about an ergonomic variant that reduces keypresses, could call it WristBand  -- BostocksUgar: luckily alchemists OP BostocksUgar: (please don't nerf them please) rodent: I nerfed them before they were even introduced, they're a lot more op in poschengband-r murphy: i feel like the word nerf is used heavily in this community BostocksUgar: if PCB had a nerf ball gun BostocksUgar: rodent would probably nerf it -- OmniNegro: Sleep well before rodent nerfs your bed into a pit full of spikes. -- rodent: don't die to the cyclops Gwarl: wow Gwarl: I died to the cyclops [...] Gwarl: why did I die to the cyclops Gwarl: just as rodent told me not to Gwarl: sigh bostock: you showed him who's boss :P -- MITZE: "Your position seems very uncertain." rodent: does that mean you know more about your momentum -- Gwarl: my priest capped his riding skill because it caps so low Gwarl: but my mount killed a huge bunch of stuff I'm sure Gwarl: so idk what to do with it and I need mitze's advice Gwarl: because I can't ignore it and do what I was going to anyway unless he gives me considered advice -- Gwarl: ugh I hate fiendish donkeys rodent: at least the variant maintainer doesn't summon them rodent: (yet) Nivim: (A unique that summoned them would probably be an ass.) bostock: This place is a barrel of laughs today bostock: So do we need a new unique, Jack of Asses? -- Gwarl: you should blame nick IMO Holy_Rage: nick? Holy_Rage: nick marshall? Holy_Rage: what for? Gwarl: nick mcconnell Gwarl: for bugs in vanilla rodent: (though he probably won't complain if you blame some other nick instead) -- BostocksAlt: gertrude was very rude Gwarl: show me where on the doll she disenchanted you -- Prandar: rune swords are fun tho Prandar: but no SI and FA Prandar: i'll store it bostock: not sure it's bostock: drum roll please bostock: worth the aggravation -- bostock: a sexy swimsuit of elemental protection rodent: you could mundanize it bostock: just after you said that i found a scroll of mundanity rodent: it's a sign [...] bostock: targeting could be vastly improved bostock: gwarl improve it for me bostock: now Gwarl: bostock is secretly kobold confirmed bostock: Fnord: bostock doesn't fucking swear about shit enough to be kobold. bostock: i need to up my game bostock: You see a Hard Leather Cap of the Kobold (+0,+2) [2,+10] (+1) {St;-Ch;Po}. bostock: it's a sign -- Gwarl: I blame kt kt: Why blame me?? bostock: it's convenient rodent: it comes with doing things, if you do things, you get the blame rodent: and if you then don't do things you'll still get the blame kt: of course bostock: that's why it's safest to never have any accomplishments -- BostocksUgar: The closest thing to a RIP I suffered today was when a green glutton ghost in Warrens came out of nowhere (naturally) and ate my Smeagol corpse BostocksUgar: I would write "RIP Smeagol corpse" but that seems unlikely -- Holy_Rage: I am simply thinking I am doing well Holy_Rage: and trying to convince myself not to mess up as I approach the throne room rodent: not messing up is a good plan imo Holy_Rage: Very close to not taking damage Holy_Rage: a close 2nd BostocksUgar: see, this is where the amateurs fail BostocksUgar: first they mess up BostocksUgar: then they take damage Gwarl: not true Gwarl: I generally take damage first Gwarl: then mess up -- Prandar: The Club 'Blue Steele' (1d5) (+12,+7) Prevents Teleportation Random Teleportation Gwarl: great artifact name though Prandar: yeah, aren't clubs made of wood? BostocksUgar: not country clubs BostocksUgar: those are made of countries Prandar: sounds like a solid material Gwarl: night clubs have innate darkness brand -- Gloomshroud: OMG LOLOLOLOL Gloomshroud: My cursor floated on my screen Gloomshroud: And I thought it was an Insect Swarm Gloomshroud: I was trying to kill my mouse cursor Gwarl: nice Gloomshroud: I feel about half stupid right now Gloomshroud: Shooting arrows at my cursor :/ -- BostocksUgar: could it be that it kept exploding after death and i kept re-killing it? rodent: I would think there'd be some kind of safeguard against that because it would happen too often otherwise, but I don't know if an unusual situation like readied shot might change things rodent: most monster processes quit if the monster's already dead which is why two internet exploders can't make each other explode repeatedly in an infinite loop rodent: (although it would be more realistic if they could do that) -- BostocksUgar: arthur too falls to the almighty trout rodent: trouts op BostocksUgar: they must be killgore trouts -- BostocksUgar: it's not the op cap of seeing Gwarl: I should never say anything in chat again Gwarl: then nothing else can be used against me rodent: but we like using things against you! -- kobold: time to look up which dungeon guardian gives most xp kobold: cthulhu and vecna got posses so that's not viable kobold: does zeus?? who knows kobold: shoot zeus for xp BostocksUgar: i see no flaws in this plan kobold: it's flawless rodent: you cannot see the flaws because they aren't there kobold: keep killing tiamat's posse and then recalling kobold: for easy access to a bunch of dragons BostocksUgar: I sometimes do that with Mughash's posse BostocksUgar: except instead of dragons, they're kobolds BostocksUgar: and instead of killing the posse only, i kill mughash too BostocksUgar: and instead of recalling, i pregenerate rodent: and instead of bags of xp, you get the warm feeling of cheating the system BostocksUgar: yes BostocksUgar: rodent always remembers the key points i forget -- rodent_debug: I wonder what the townsmen will think when they enter the crypt after you're done with it and find all these extra doors BostocksUgar: BostocksUgar: "converted to law office" -- kobold: so i've got two angry black reavers playing defense for this archlich BostocksUgar: nowadays we call them african-american reavers, thank you very much -- wobbly: Hugo is a player who fights with honour Hugo: thanks BostocksUgar: hey i fight with honor too BostocksUgar: honor usually loses -- Thurl: It's clear that things like this were why the mine was abandoned in the first place; workers getting disintegrated and mana stormed and they couldn't just keep hiring quality labor like that. -- bostock: but, i'm being rude, i'm sorry bostock: it's your game MITZE: (Don't worry about it) MITZE: (I was being mock-angry) rodent: telling everybody else how to play is part of angband.live, at least you're not dying repeatedly in your own games while you do it MITZE: Yeah bostock: wait bostock: i am bostock: but then, snark is also a part of angband.live MITZE: If I really got annoyed about that stuff I wouldn't be playing on here MITZE: What's the point of being able to spectate people's games if you can't tell them "YOURE DOING IT WRONG!"? bostock: you might as well not even spectate bostock: if you're not going to do that bostock: but the real art is to kibitz while not spectating bostock: that's my focus -- MITZE: Hey all Gwarl: mitze they are bullying me make them stop MITZE: Good job guys, keep it up -- Gwarl: death magic shouldn't have to suffer just because necros exist Gwarl: make necros suffer instead Gwarl: if someone has to MITZE: If someone has to MITZE: you do it MITZE: you suffer Gwarl: noooo Gwarl: whyyyy rodent: you are the Jesus of Angband rodent: you suffer so the rest of us don't have to rodent: (don't expect us to worship you though) bostock: We will however take your name in vain -- Fnord: Night Rage, Quirk Fnord: And by Talos, you were annoying Fnord: *bye Fnord: Important correction! I wasn't swearing by Talos! I was addressing him ;p
__________________
The Complainer worries about the lack of activity here these days. |
|
|
|
 |
| Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests) | |
| Thread Tools | |
| Display Modes | |
|
|
Linear Mode
